How to go to Confession - The Basics
Here is the traditional way of making a confession, which has the very basics of what we need to know and say. Even if has been many many years since your last confession, don’t worry - Go!
General Advice:
Sometimes we get nervous about going to confession. But don’t let nerves or fear hold you back. However long it has been, however bad the sin, however embarrassed you feel, even if you worry you don’t know what to do, – don’t let anything stop you from going to confession.
Remember it is the Lord we meet in confession. Priests are all different; and some we like more than others. But what matters is the presence of Jesus in our life through the ministry of the priest, and not the personality of the priest. Christ touches our life through each priest, whoever he is; and every priest will keep your confession absolutely secret for the rest of his life. He won’t look at you differently, or speak with you differently after your confession.
We at St. John’s have confession at least once a week. It is also useful to know the times of confession at other churches on the North Shore. The Cathedral is a good place to go to confession with plenty of different times.
You can go to confession ‘anonymously’ behind the screen in the confessional where the priest cannot identify you, or you may sit face to face with Father, it is your choice. Both confessionals have both options.
Try to go regularly, perhaps every month.
Briefly examine your conscience at the end of each day, and make an act of contrition. In this way you will become more sensitive to what is really happening in your own life, and you will be more prepared and more honest as you come to confession.
Before Confession
Spend a few minutes before your confession; Pray for God’s help and guidance; examine your conscience; (review the Ten Commandments or Beatitudes) remember any sins you have committed; pray for God’s forgiveness.
But don’t spend forever trying to remember every little sin (this can be an obsession that is called ‘scruples’) – Ten minutes is probably a good amount of time; an hour is too long.
It is our duty to mention in confession all our serious (mortal) sins and we are encouraged to mention some of our smaller (venial) sins and everyday faults, but we don’t need to list every minor failure. Remember, that all our venial sins are forgiven and forgotten whenever we pray for God’s forgiveness and whenever we receive Holy Communion.
If you are not sure what to say or do, don’t worry - Tell Father, and ask him to help you begin.

In Confession
Begin by saying “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen” Then add ‘Bless me Father for I have sinned. It is (length of time) since my last confession, and then confess your sins. Be simple and straightforward; just put into words what you have done wrong since you last went to confession. Don’t make excuses, but if it helps say a little bit about what happened and why. When you have finished say “I am sorry for all these sins and the sins of my past life”.
The priest might then talk to you and give you some advice. He will give you a penance to do (a prayer or action that expresses your sorrow and your desire to live a new life).
The priest will then ask you to make an Act of Contrition. Say one you know or use the following one: “O my God, because you are so good, I am very sorry that I have sinned against you; and I promise that with the help of your grace, I will not sin again. Amen”. If you need to take a copy of this into the confessional – do it!
The priest then says the prayer of absolution, which is the moment when God forgives your sins; He may add some other prayers as well.
After confession
If it is possible now, do your penance in the church before you leave; for example if you have been asked to say a certain prayer, kneel down and say it now.
Pray for a moment in thanksgiving for the forgiveness you have received in this sacrament; and pray for God’s help to live a new life.
You might feel relieved and peaceful and full of joy. Or you might feel dry and empty; it doesn’t matter, what matters is that we have been forgiven and been given a new life. The Lord has touched us – even if we do not feel it. That knowledge should give us a kind of inner peace and joy, even if we don’t feel it.
If you forgot to mention something small, don’t get all worried. In confession the Lord forgives all the sins that we intended to mention (as long as we did not deliberately conceal anything.)
We pray for you always - Deacon Peter